If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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