new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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