I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
false alarm, still single
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
