Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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