sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I am full of burrito and curiosity
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
