what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
