We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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