So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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