Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
only if we run a train.
done.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
