I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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