Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
