either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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