She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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