...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
