I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
