I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
It was confusing and full of hummus
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
