I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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