Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
worst night to have a conscience
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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