I wannas sexs uuuuu
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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