Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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