I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize