I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
