after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
he was CRYING into my vagina
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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