seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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