Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
