I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
