I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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