if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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