At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
She needs sedatives and a leash
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
