She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
