she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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