My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
