similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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