i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
