I wish I could teleport
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
