there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
