Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry I_AM_GOD hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.

Fav 46 1067 4342
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(954): View more from Florida

you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week

Fav 13 5140 957
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(785): View more from Kansas

i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up

Fav 10 5082 1056
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.

Fav 7 2766 1497
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(408): View more from California

Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.

Fav 19 3551 1200
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(563): View more from Iowa

I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.

Fav 3 1933 699
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(937): View more from Ohio

The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...

Fav 4 1359 682
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(719): View more from Colorado

One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.

Fav 0 81 11
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.

(1-336): View more from North Carolina

Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.

(336): View more from North Carolina

Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.

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