I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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