is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
