i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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