I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
