I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize