why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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