ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
