How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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