Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
we should paint friendship bongs
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
