piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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