If that was your dad, he is hot
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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