Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize