Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
