put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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