we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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