did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
