if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
from now on my penis is your penis
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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