Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
