Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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