And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
