I am puke
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
