When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
