We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
