Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
