He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
And then my night got REAL pukey
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize