Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
