is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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