i'm signing you up for texting rehab
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize