hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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