i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize