I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We are two peas in an std pod
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
