Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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