Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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