The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
