If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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