his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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